Taking back my free time

taking back my free time

Like all people pleasers, I have the classic problem of saying yes to too many things.

The worst it’s ever been was in my junior year of college. I was taking 18 hours of classes, the vice president of an international organization, volunteered at a community service office, waited tables on the weekends, worked part time doing marketing for club sports, and led a bible study of sophomore girls. (When in the world did I have time to study!) It was EXHAUSTING and I had zero time to myself that year. In fact, I remember on the rare evenings when I was home and would watch a TV show or movie with my roommates, I always fell asleep on the floor as soon as it started. I was constantly on the go and constantly tired.

Over winter break I got some much-needed rest and realized I needed more of that in my life, which meant having to say no to something.

In true Rory Gilmore fashion, I made a pro/con list for each item on my plate and decided to quit my job doing the club sports’ marketing. I was worried about how I would make rent without that income, but it all ended up okay. And I was so nervous telling and disappointing my supervisor, but it turns out I had plenty of classmates who were interested in that position, who had more time to devote to it. I am always replaceable in my job. A huge relief was lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in months I felt free and in control of my schedule.

Looking back I probably should have cut out two or three more things, but at the time saying no to anything at all was a big huge deal.

Since then I’ve slowly been adopting more free time into my schedule, and am learning to listen to my gut as an indicator of whether or not I should be pursuing something. It’s still really hard for me to say no to things, but I know in the end I am a happier, more giving person if I have margin in my day to relax, exercise or the free time to say yes if a drop-of-the-hat invitation comes along.

DECISIONS I'M GLAD I MADE GRAPHIC

Do you have this problem? Have you ever over-committed to too many things? Is there something hanging over your life that you need to get rid of? 

PS – Shoes are from Minx Asheville

  • Giulia Lombardo

    Is always good take some moments for OURSELF ONLY, this shies are amazing

  • Holly S

    I have always tended to take on too much, I just have a hard time saying no when asked to help out with something. Sadly, I am now seeing my son taking on too much now too and he’s finding himself completely overwhelmed his senior year of high school. I am going to have to start being a better example.

  • I am definitely an over-achiever and say yes to way too many things! I’ve been better at it recently since wedding planning has been more of a priority.

    Kindness is the best accessory,
    Rebecca

  • Dorothy Clement

    Learning when to say yes and no is an art. Listening to your gut is an art. At age 29 it’s wonderful you are learning to listen and not be driven by guilt. You will be a happier adult, have a better marriage, and set a wonderful stage b4 children. It takes a strong and wise person to know when to say Yes! or No.