As is tradition, here is the Christmas card we sent this year:
Wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas!
Hello dear blog readers! Goodness, four months without a post? Tsk tsk.
I’ve started and stopped this post dozens of times throughout the last few months. Not because I don’t know what to say — there’s plenty of things to catch you guys up on! — but I always got distracted or was tired of looking at another screen after my work day. But here I am parked at Panera with a friend who has her own work to catch up on, so I thought it would be a good time to finally update this blog. :) So I’m just going to type away all that I’m thinking and then hit Publish.
Let’s get going shall we?
Well, for starters, I’m pregnant! If you follow me on social media you probably know this already, but we are expecting a baby girl in April. I am so excited I cannot even handle it. Every time I feel the flutters in my belly (which lately has been often) I am full of thanksgiving and praise. What a miracle life is!
After our miscarriage in the spring, a few friends asked whether I was willing to try again so soon after such a traumatic experience, but my feelings were the opposite — all I wanted was to be pregnant again. Not to replace the baby we lost, but because I just wanted to be a mom so badly.
We found out about this little April miracle on August 7th, which we realized later is the anniversary of the day we got engaged.
I have had so much peace about this pregnancy, which is truly a gift from the Lord. From the very beginning I have had a strong sense that I am going to get to meet this baby. A few weeks after we found out I had a little scare, very similar to the series of events that occurred in my first pregnancy, so we scheduled an appointment to see the baby earlier than expected. We were delighted to see the baby was developing well and had a strong heart beat.
J and I were convinced we were having a boy from the beginning, but thought it would be fun to have a gender reveal party with our two families to find out for sure. We had our 18-week anatomy scan appointment on a Friday, the week before Thanksgiving, and told the ultrasound tech to write down the gender in an envelope we brought. My sisters and their husbands came to down that night (spent the evening decorating this box) and then the next morning my parents and J’s family came over. J went to Party City and gave them the envelope, and picked up the box filled with either pink or blue balloons.
I have never in all my life been so surprised to see those pink balloons. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
I thought it was a boy for so long it took about a week or so for it to really sink in that we are having a girl. A daughter! I have always wanted to have a girl, so it feels too good to be true.
Overall this pregnancy has been very smooth, and for that I am thankful. I had some nausea and lethargy in the early weeks, but otherwise I’ve been feeling great. Aside from crying at a Barbie commercial a few days after finding out we were having a girl (ha), I’ve been pretty even-keel emotionally, which has been nice as well. :) I still have four months to go, of course, so I’m sure it’ll get more uncomfortable, but overall it has been a very great pregnancy and for that I’m thankful.
There may be a few of you who find all of this hard to read. I will admit, it feels a little unfair to be pregnant twice in one year. I know of so many wonderful women who have been trying to get pregnant and are still longing and waiting, and I just want you to know, I get it. It’s so hard. Waiting and longing for something and each month being disappointing totally sucks.
Hmm what else is new?
I turned 30 years old in September and went to the mountains with some dear friends to celebrate. I thought that turning 30 would be this really big epic life event, but it’s really just an age isn’t it? Getting older is not as scary as it used to be, and I am so excited about this next decade. We joined a new small group this semester, which we have come to love. My work continues to go well. Leia continues to be a doll of a dog. We spent a week with my family at the beach. We went to visit some friends in Cincinnati a couple of weeks ago. And I can’t believe we’re about to celebrate Christmas and New Years in the next few weeks.
Thank you to all who continue to read this and have sent me messages in the last few months. What’s the future of this blog, you ask? I’m not sure, and that’s okay with me. This blog has evolved so much in the last few years and I’ve thought about shutting it down a few times, since I enjoy putting most of my energy into offline friends or updating Instagram, but I can never seem to quit it. I love writing in here and even if it’s four months between posts, I plan to keep it up.
Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Here’s to a great 2016!
This was the summer of:
Reading: I read The Girl on the Train, The Mysterious Benedict Society, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Secrets of a Charmed Life, Adopted for Life, Everything You Ever Wanted, and half way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (which is worthy of mentioning because halfway is still 500+ pages!!). I’m still going through the chronological bible study, which I started at the beginning of the year, and sadly have only made it through Deuteronomy. Slow and steady my friends.
Podcasts. My new favorite podcast is the Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, and I listened to all 50 of them in the last few months. I listen when I go for walks with Leia or play on my commute to/from work. Jamie is such a great host and has amazing guests join her show.
Gyros. When we weren’t grilling, this was our summer go-to meal: Shredded chicken, red onion, tomatoes, cucumbers and tzatziki sauce (must be cedar’s) all in a pita. I haven’t actually cooked anything substantial in months, it’s been too hot to turn on the oven! But the cooler weather is starting to appear, which means the dutch oven, roasting pans and baking sheets will all be coming out of their summer hibernation. I’m so ready!
S’mores. I wish I could tell you we’ve been making a campfire in our backyard each night, but we just zap them in the microwave for 10 seconds. Still gooey and delicious.
Family. I saw my family every few weeks since May. Mainly to see this cutie!
TV Marathons. J and I like to have one comedy and one drama on the docket for whenever we need a relaxing evening in front of the TV. This summer we started re-watching Friends, and our dramas included catching up on the latest season of Scandal (Fitz and Olivia drive me crazy) and the West Wing (which still holds up and oddly have the same political issues today as in 1998). When J is not around I have been watching Gossip Girl. How did I miss that show after college?
Walks with Leia. This is not exclusive to summer, but I have had many long walks with the puppy after work, normally listening to the aforementioned podcasts.
What are you going to remember from Summer 2015?
Oh heyyy, Internet! It’s been a while. Let’s just ignore the two-month radio silence and jump back in shall we? Because September is here! One of my favorite months! Time to get in the last sunny days of summer and enjoy the first hints of fall. This month is going to be pretty busy with three out of four weekends out of town… labor day weekend at the beach with my inlaws, then a mountain trip with friends, and then heading to Charlotte for a friends’ baby shower. I’m also turning 30 this month so there’s that. :)
August goals (I didn’t publish on the blog, but made them anyways):
What are you up to this month?
I absolutely adored London. Maybe it was the unusually delightful weather we were having, but there were multiple times during the trip we talked about how we could see ourselves living there. It was familiar and comfortable, even though this was our first time visiting the city.
We only spent three nights in London (well, four if you count our unexpected layover thanks to a Lufthansa strike), but it felt like we were there much longer because we did SO MUCH in those short days.
We brought the 2015 London tour book by Rick Steves (“Ricky” as we affectionately referred to him on the trip), and modeled most of our trip after his three-day recommendation. It did not disappoint.
I’ll spare you long drawn out paragraphs of all that we did and share just the highlights and a bullet list of all we saw and did.
Tours and experiences:
What a wonderful city! I hope to go back there someday, and explore the countryside next time.
Have you ever been to London?
What are your favorite things to do or see?
Thanks for all of the love on my last post. I’m learning that vulnerability breeds vulnerability and since sharing I have had the privilege to hear from so many with similar stories of loss and hope. My heart goes out to all of those who have lost children — whether in the womb or out of it — and I can’t wait to meet these Heaven Babies one day.
Well, we are in the thick of summer! This season is always a quiet, slow season for me, even though I’m still working full time and we have trips or plans every weekend. But my time and schedule are more relaxed and the long sunny days make time slow down.
Our culture is always looking forward and getting you ready for the next season. It’s only a few days after July 4th and already I’m receiving email promotions for this fall, and the other day I was in Target and walked by their Back to School display. Too soon, advertisers! The first day of Summer just a few weeks ago!
It’s not just our culture, but my nature that plans ahead. It has been a hard few months and there are daily reminders of what I lost everywhere I turn. All I want to do is rush through and get this hard part over with, but I’m trying to give myself grace to be sad. Because losing a pregnancy is worth being sad over. I’m trying to feel my way through it, finding the gifts in the midst of pain. When I am still and start to look, I see moments of grace and joy all around me. I don’t want to rush through and miss those.
So I’m trying to enjoy this hot summer moment I am in today. As cliche as it sounds, I literally will never live this day again. How incredibly fleeting is that!
It’s been a few months since I’ve shared my goals on here, so here are mine for July:
What are you up to this summer?