Like I alluded to in yesterday’s post, I have decided to quit my job and move to North Carolina. Here are all of the details that led me up to that decision. I’ll try to be brief, but make no promises because there’s a lot I haven’t been sharing!
The Quest to end Long Distance
Unless this is the first post you are reading or you’re one to gloss over the personal details of this blog, you probably know that I am in a long distance relationship with a boy named J. LDR’s always need an expiration date. You either have to break up or move, but you can’t continue long distance unless there’s a good reason. The end for us was always J’s graduation this past December. We started 2010 with the goal to live in the same town by summer. Ideally he would find a job up near me since I already have one, but for about three months that proved dead end after dead end. No one seemed to be hiring in the DC area and if they were, the competition was fierce with overqualified candidates in the mix. In the middle of February, I told him to look for jobs in NC, where both of us are from and there are more contacts available. I love the state and have so many friends there anyway, so I would move towards him if he found something there first. About a month ago he got a job and that’s when I started to look.
My Job Search
I have been looking for jobs fairly aggressively since March. At first the search was pretty depressing because I was going after listed jobs that no doubt had hundreds of other applicants. Then I took a different approach: I figured out the companies I wanted to work for, sent them my resume (whether they were hiring or not), and ending up with six phone interviews with three different companies and two networking calls.
Last week, during my four day weekend, I managed to land three in-person interviews and one networking lunch. Of the three official interviews: one I hated, another I could tolerate, and one I absolutely fell in love with. The third one is my dream job at a dream company. I literally have to tell myself to stop day dreaming about it.
To Stay or Leave?
I came back to town Tuesday overwhelmed. I needed to make a decision by this past Saturday whether I was going to move or not because my landlord needs one month’s notice. If I moved out by June 1, then I would live with one of my best friends in NC who needs a roommate at the end of May (so could be perfect). The choice was either to move out in hopes that one of the interviews will turn into a job, or be stuck until at least July 1st and risk giving up a great job that would need me to relocate soon and also getting stuck having to pay a month’s rent and missing out on NC housing I would have June 1st. My decision affected my currnet roommate, who told me she was flexible, but that one of her friends has a vacant room at the end of May (also, potentially perfect). I needed to let my landlord and both of the “roommates” know by this past Saturday.
I was hopping to hear from one of the jobs before this past weekend, but Friday came and went and I didn’t get an answer. My Dream Job emailed me that they were checking my references on Friday, which is a good sign according to some Twitter peeps.
I couldn’t sleep last week and kept going back and forth about my decision. Do I move and hope that I get one of these jobs? Should I stay at my current job and just be patient that something will eventually come along? Do I risk everything I have now–my $41,000 salaried job–for something that is not guaranteed? Do I stay and risk giving up a cheap NC apartment and potentially a good job if I can’t move in time? Am I choosing unemployment in this challenging economic market?
Believe me–it was a really tough decision.
My Rat-Inspired Epiphany
Friday evening my roommate was out and none of my friends were available, so I was stuck alone with my torturous thoughts. I couldn’t stand it so I walked downtown where there was distraction. However, when I got there I never felt more lonely. Usually I like shopping alone, but I was surrounded with people who had someone. Be it a spouse, a child, a friend, a sibling… everyone I saw was with someone and it only made me more depressed.
Still confused, I walked back home with plans to watch a dependably happy romantic comedy and sip a large glass of wine. As I was about to sit down for a nice meal of Mexican leftovers, I saw the most horrifying black creature scurry across the hardwood floors from my couch to a chair in the corner. I shrieked and jumped on my coffee table, trying to figure out what to do. I took a large gulp of the wine in my left hand and speed dialed my sister with my right hand. I told her about the rat slash mouse slash diablo-incarnate, and she recommend I call someone to help. Is there anyone to come over? No, I answered. Your neighbors? Don’t really know them. Your guy friends? They’re out of town or busy and 30 minutes away. Your coworkers? None live near me. I told her I’d figure something out and she wished she wasn’t six hours away so she could help. I ended up calling my landlord then hibernating in my room for the rest of the night.
But I realized how pathetic I was—I had no one I felt comfortable calling. Not that a mouse was a huge crisis, but if I were living near J, I would have a handful of kindred spirits who would come to my rescue in a heartbealt. And that’s when I realized it: If I am surrounded by the people who love me unconditionally, then I can survive anything, including unemployment. It may not come to that (and I really really hope in the next month I get a job)… but if it did it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Home is Where the Heart Is
It will be such a blessing to be close to my family. This time last year my mom was first starting her chemotherapy and just thinking about last year’s summer months make me shudder. It was so hard being far away during that time. Thankfully she is doing better now, but I realized so much last year that my family means the world to me and I’m so ready to be within an hour’s drive.
I’m also so ready to be a real girlfriend in the same town as my boyfriend. A few months ago one of my coworkers said she had a friend she wanted to set me up with at a party. I couldn’t believe it. “I’m not single!” I told her. I’m done being independent and I’m ready to have my support system close by. I feel like an anti-feminist quitting my job and moving essentially for a boy… but just thinking about being near him makes me happy.
So this is where I am today: I have one month to find a job, pack up my DC life and move back to the familiar to brave the unknown. I know, that sounds dramatic, but to me giving up such financial and emotional security is dramatic. I also give you permission to call me a PF-blogging failure. I am fully aware that all of my financial goals and possibly savings may go out the window, but I’ve already planned an unemployment budget if that’s what ends up happening. I plan to give my notice in a week or so at my current job.
I’m really optimistic about last week’s interviews. Of course my optimism scares me because I don’t like the alternative, but I am really hopeful that something will work out in the next few weeks or months. I am equally nervous/scared/excited about the possibilities but I can’t wait to share with you what ends up happening. :) Thanks for reading this looong post and joining me along on this journey back to the SOUTH!!!
**By the way, thank goodness I have not seen any traces of the diablo rat since Friday night. Me thinks God placed it there to give me some direction, then took it away. Perhaps? ;)
Wow this is so exciting!!!!! I agree with you 100% about LDR having to end sooner or later, otherwise what’s the point? It’s so romantic to finally end the LDR and live in the same city as each other, and it really sounds like you’d be happier living close to friends and your BF.
Oh, and in my old apartment I also once saw a mouse in my place. I jumped on the couch and called my boyfriend (he lived an hour away at the time) and started freaking out. He wasn’t close enough to help me, and I didn’t have any real friends who I could call either.
I can’t wait to hear more about your journey! And I’m sending positive thoughts your way about the job interview! :)
I don’t blame you moving at all; sometimes we just have to make a decision and go for it! Good luck with your job search, I have fingers crossed for you :-)
I can’t wait to leave the city. We’ve made friends now, so it’s not as bad but you’re right on with the rat thing. Even the friends we have are all so spread out across the city. My little sister lives here, but in NW in a spot w/o a metro station nearby so it’s not easy to get over to see her.
What an incredible adventure! What part of NC? Maybe there will be enough of us NC PF bloggers to start a new happy hour group!
Good for you! I sensed you had a big move/career decision in your future and you’ll be so much happier living close to your BF, family & friends. I can’t imagine anyone calling you a PF blogging failure…since you have all your debt paid off and an emergency fund and you’ve created an unemployment budget! Good luck with the job interviews and I’m looking forward to hearing about the big move and changes ahead.
YAY! I am so very happy for you. You are doing the RIGHT thing for your own happiness, which means so much to you :) Good luck on the interviews & keep thinking positive because thinking like that WORKS! Can’t wait to hear more about your new adventure.
Awesome post, girl! I TOTALLY think you are making the right decision! I am keeping my fingers crossed that your dream job comes true!!! And how perfect is it that you just became debt free only a short while ago? You won’t have to worry about paying any debt even if you are job-less for awhile.
SOOO happy for you!! The only way I would have been more happy was if you had said that you and J were moving to Kansas City!!! ha ha
Sometimes your happiness and well being trumps financial goals. I’m sure everything will fall into place for you. Good luck!
I figured it had something to do with J, but mostly because I just saw Up in the Air. Sending you well wishes. Whatever may come of this journey, know that you just took one step closer to your happiness!
Congrats on your move, and please don’t be too hard on yourself on the personal finance front – clearly this was a decision you were ready to make on many levels (emotional, financial, logistical).
In my experience, jobs do not call references unless they are ready to make an offer. The job I have now, I got an offer pending my references checking out – basically, I interviewed on a Friday, they set up a call with my most recent reference for Monday morning, and called me after speaking to that reference and said that I had the offer as long as my other references checked out.
Hope you hear soon!!
(Ps – this is City Girl – I changed my blog name and decided to drop the City Girl moniker, but it’s still me. I rewatched Julie and Julia recently again btw – thank you again for the lovely treats :) )
Congratulations to you for being so ballsy and making the move that will make you happy! I too am in sort of the same situation.. working in Toronto, living away from my bf and my family. All I wish I could do is move back home.. there is nothing else like home like you said!
All the power to you for doing this- no worries about the financial goals, etc.. they will fall into place after a few months or year of getting things settled. And if you ever land your dream job, hey, you could make way more than you are now!
Best of luck with everything! You are an inspiration :)
Completely agree with everyone else – your happiness and well being trump financial goals. Besides it’s not like you’re abandoning them and living a careless life – you’re changing them so improve your life. Good luck!
Good for you!
This is sort of the situation that Chad and I ran into when we moved to California, especially since neither one of us is very gifted at making friends. Unfortunately, now that we’ve moved back, we’re still pretty far from the people we know, and there are a lot of really good friends we just lost touch with.
And with all of that, it is wonderful just to be with him. So I think that your choice will make you happy, no matter how many savings goals you break.
Congrats on your decision to move! I definitely believe that there’s nothing wrong with personal happiness and well being trumping financial goals. And once you’re moved in and things settle back down, you’ll get back on track! Plus you’ll have the support of J and friends to help you through the challenges of moving and finding employment!
Will be holding good thoughts for you on the job front and I look forward to hearing all about your exciting new transition!
I’m actually moving back to my home area (all my friends and family) in the next month for a job and moving away from my boy of 3 years. I’m not sure if the LDR will make or break it but I guess I have to go with my heart and my heart says its right.
Good Luck to you! You’re move sounds like a few more pros then cons.
Congrats to you! I admire your courage and strength to make the tough decisions necessary to create the life you want.
Here is a little diddy that I received from a friend not to long ago:
“May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.”
Congrats on the big change! I made a similar move back here after I lived in Australia for a year- to go back to a place I love and to be with someone I love full-time. Sometimes you have to take a big jump!
“If I am surrounded by the people who love me unconditionally, then I can survive anything, including unemployment.”
Truer words have never been spoken. I wish you all the best of luck and just know that it will work out, especially a new job! Things are already falling into place with J’s job and your friend’s apartment – have faith!
Also I’m a big believer in signs and totally think that rat was a message meant for you to spur you on :)
Congratulations on the big move — I moved to CA to be with T, and while I was able to line up a job first, I was definitely considering the possibility that I’d move without one after a certain amount of time.
I’m SURE a job will come through quickly, based on how quickly you got these interviews. Very exciting!
congratulations MPP! North Carolina will be glad to have you back…it really is such a great state to live I think. And I think it makes more sense to be be happy in life being close to family and friends and J than to be lonely in the big city! Life is more than a job and a salary. Yay!
What a big decision! Good luck with everything. DC will miss you!