Confessions of a Proud Blogger

Can I share some frustrations with you guys today?

Every time that I think I’m doing something cool in blogging, taking one step forward, BAM. Something happens to knock me off that pedestal and move two steps backwards. Every. single. time. And the frustrating part is it’s always my fault. My limited CSS, coding, blogging fault.

Take, for example, the day that I ended the 31 days series a couple of week ago. I tweeted about it and a few other girls (who I respect, admire and have a huge twitter following) retweeted it. Yay! A chance to get more exposure! A chance for really awesome, cool people to see my blog!

Almost immediately after I tweeted, BAM. A plugin failed and my hosting site had to take down My Pretty Pennies for about four hours.

Then! A new blog design! A chance to actually look like a legitimate blogger! It was beautiful, working beautifully! Yay!

And then yesterday I had the nerve to try to add simple “Pin It” html coding to the theme and BAM. The theme stopped working altogether, the site wasn’t pulling up, my hosting site told me I needed to delete the theme from the backend and start from scratch. (That’s why, in case you didn’t notice, all the pretty elements from Monday’s post are gone.)

I wish I could tell you that I took all of these mistakes in stride and said “Oh no big deal! It’s just a silly site!” But I didn’t. I was devastated, as embarrassing as that is to admit.

And I had to ask myself — why am I so upset? What is it about this site that gets me so unraveled? 

The answer wasn’t very pretty, as is all sin when we realize it in our lives. Pride. The pride of wanting to look like i have it all together. LIke I’m some awesome, cool blogger that thousands of people should read. I see what others are doing and think, why can’t I be like that? I was reminded by my friend Caroline’s post the other day of a quote that hit very close to home: Comparison is the thief of joy.

Perhaps God is using these failures to teach me that I hold too much value in what other people think. That I need to be content with where I am and not worry so much about whether or not people read this. If no one ever saw this little corner of the Internet, would I care? I would like to think no, but I know deep down my answer is yes. I do care, and I need to not.

God isn’t asking me to be the best blogger out there, because guess what? The world already has the best. He’s asking me to be Ginna. A redeemed daughter of the King, forgiven and loved, who shouldn’t worry about stats or numbers, but is content and in everything giving thanks. To be authentic. To care of others and share my heart.

So that’s what I’m trying to do today — I’m hanging my hat on trying to be the best.

I may get back my pretty theme eventually and may learn a few CSS tricks to help me along the way (since obviously my html coding knowledge is seriously lacking), but I am going to trust that if God wants this blog to be super popular, He’ll make it so. And if not? Then it’s not! I don’t want to make my own little kingdom beyond what He has planned for me. And I already have some of the nicest, most genuine readers on the planet. Who needs more?

And as for those aforementioned readers: thank you for reading. Thank you so much. I know that you guys could care less if I had a pretty site or not, and it’s humbling to admit this to you guys today. You guys seriously are the best. (Oh, and I’m sorry this Friday post is not as lovely as my usual ones. They’ll be back, don’t worry.:)

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  • Great post! I’ve been experiencing some similar feelings lately with my new blog and I need to remember that the blog is what it is. It’ll grow if it’s meant to and won’t if it’s not. :)

  • Honestly, that’s a big reason why I gave up having my own site over 7 years ago. I was spending more time on the formatting and “behind the scenes” stuff then I was on the writing and the content.

    Even without your theme, your blog is still much more visually appealing and easy to read then a lot of them out there. :)

  • (HUGS) I know exactly how you feel! Blogging is a great creative outlet, but sometimes I feel like it’s high school all over again – the constant striving to be “cool enough” or “as good as…”. For what it’s worth, I find so much value in your blog’s content and the message you put forward – so what if it doesn’t look shiny 100% of the time!?

  • Ginna, thanks so much for sharing and being honest. I’m totally with you. It’s hard to remember that we’re not as big of a deal as we think we are sometimes:-) But as a piece of encouragement, I think you’re doing great and growing by leaps and bounds!

  • You *are* one of my greatest bloggers! I guess different readers look for different things. I discovered you right at the beginning of my own blogging journey. I have to say that I’ve stayed because your content is real and it interests me. It’s personal and I like you as you come across in your writing. I tend to read on my phone or on my reader most of the time, so the blogger’s voice is the main thing that I get. I’d like you to know that I genuinely enjoy reading your posts :)

    And mind, there’s nothing wrong with striving to be the best that you can be :) Don’t be discouraged from keeping up with all the learning and trying to be better. Thank you for sharing!

  • First of all, thank you so much for linking to my post, and I will be the first to tell you that your frustrations and feelings are not silly because I would have felt the same way. You hit the nail on the head with why we care so much: pride. When we bear our souls to the world, we want it to be represented in the truest, most authentic way possible – the way we feel it in our hearts. And as silly as it sounds, something as seemingly superficial as the way our site looks can be a part of that too, because when it’s not true to our vision, we feel we’ve missed an opportunity to put our best foot forward to our readers. But I will remind you of the same thing that my readers remind me of: it’s the words, the true voice that your readers care about. I think you bring such a unique perspective to the mix of blogs that I follow, and that’s why I keep coming back! Keep your eye on your content and I’m going to try and do the same, and new readers are just a bonus! We love you!

  • Very good post, Gin. Your words and pictures is what everyone comes here for anyway… not how the blog looks

  • I go back and forth on worrying about opinions of other bloggers. Of course simply by publishing my thoughts and experiences on the web I care to an extent and often wonder why I don’t have more readers or comments. But, when I think about what else I would do, I can’t imagine changing the focus or topics of my blog. For the record, I think your blog is gorgeous!

  • Gina, I found your blog today by happenstance (I was truthfully searching for how to change my twitter handle without losing my meagre 100 followers), but I’m happy to have found you. This is a lovely reminder to all of us on the importance of faith and letting go, so thank you for sharing.

  • Yes, you are so right — it’s easy to want to attract more readers, but ultimately you need to focus on what interests you above everything else. Appreciate your comment!

  • Thanks Caroline! Glad to know I’m not alone on the blogging frustrations front. ;) And a good reminder that the voice and content of the blog is more important than any silly design. (Although, let’s be honest, prettier is always better, amen?:)

  • Thank you, thank you. I cannot tell you how encouraging your comment was to me on Friday!! I appreciate your kind words and readership — seriously, thank you. :)

  • “It’s hard to remember that we’re not as big of a deal as we think we are” — Ha! So true my friend. :) These little things are always much more of a big deal to us than it is to anyone else. Thanks so much for your comment, it was super encouraging to receive on Friday.

  • You know, I’ve never thought about it like that, but you’re SO TRUE! Blogging is like high school striving to be like all the cool kids. Ha, thanks for that reminder. :)

  • Thanks for your comment. I’ve thought about quitting my blog many times, either because it’s too time consuming or because it’s becoming a bigger deal in my life than it should. So, I’m going to try to keep the “behind the scenes” to a minimum for now. :)

  • You’re so right — it’s always a bigger deal to the blogger than it ever is to the readers. You can spend 3 hours on something that no one may ever notice! Thanks so much for your comment on Friday, it was greatly appreciated. :)

  • Thanks Christine! I appreciate your comment and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who struggles with striving to have the best out there. :) What is your blog? I didn’t see a link in your comment.

  • This whole blogging can be frustrating at times but you have to do it for yourself and no one else and everything will fall into place. I came across your blog randomly and have loves it ever since!!