Blur

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Life has been a bit of a blur lately.

I turned 29 years old on Monday, so it’s a new year. For me, and for you too, as September is “the other new year” and we pick up the routine and busyness of life we left off in May.

I was on vacation in Florida last week. It was such a fun week, but the weather was very hot and humid, so arriving home to cool, mild temperatures was one of the best birthday presents I got this year. This September weather is so delightful I just want to bottle it up. I drove to work on Monday and discovered while I was away gorgeous yellow wildflowers had sprung up alongside the two-lane highway I take each day through the country. Another gift. I tried to take some photos of the flowers, but they all ended up a little blurry.

That’s kind of how my life feels these days — a beautiful blur.

I read somewhere recently that the reason life feels like it goes so fast when you get older is because you experience fewer “firsts.” Time seemed so much slower when you were younger because your whole world is new and every experience takes more emotional energy. That makes so much sense! In the last few years, the time when life felt slower and my memories are more vivid are when I was first married. It was such a big life change and new experience and time seemed to go a little slower.

Time is flying.

I realized the other day I started this blog at the ripe age of 23. So young! Blogs have changed so much since then, and so have I. I created a 30 before 30 list four years ago, and it’s funny to see the silly things I wanted to accomplish. I’m not yet 30, but can already tell that some of those things won’t happen, and that’s okay.

But the reason I love making goals is because life in general is pretty mundane and ordinary. Goals give you more firsts. Help slow down time a little bit. Give you new experiences, new cities, new hobbies.

And the older I get, the more protective I am of time.

I have been writing in my journal more than normal lately, which means I have less time and energy to write on here. My main goal for blogging is to keep a record of what I’m doing and learning and seeing. It’s a journal, but with one major difference — it’s public. Anyone can read what I write, and many times that is my favorite part — connecting with readers and meeting other bloggers. It has made me a better writer (not a great one, mind you, but much better than some of my old stuff), but sometimes the practice of blogging can be tiring and there are a lot of things I don’t really want to share with everyone and their brother.

I’m not sharing this because I’m announcing a break or anything, although it does seem a little coincidental with the Young House Love news (no! come back John and Sherry!), but I want to reevaluate how I spend my time all around, including this blog. I want my yes’s and my no’s to be intentional and purposeful (this book is helping with that), and create enough margin so I have the flexibility to help when friends or family need me. Because real life > online life.

So what is the point of all this rambling? Who knows, this is what happens when I go too long between blog posts! I guess, here’s to my thirtieth year of life! I’m ready. :)