30-Week Pregnancy Thoughts

I am 30-weeks pregnant, which means I’m three-fourths of the way there. Yay! I cannot believe it’s just another 10 or so weeks before I get to meet this baby girl. Here’s a brain dump of what life looks like these days. 

Nursery:

Her room is coming together nicely! I don’t really have a theme, but want it as gender-neutral as possible with girly accessories. Here is a photo I posted on IG last weekend when J was setting up the crib. It’s definitely a work in progress — frames on the floor, newspaper on the wall where a gallery of art will go, and crepe paper decorations from our gender reveal party that I threw over the mirror. But I have a vision and it’s slowly getting prettier and more organized.

Registry:

Registering for baby things is really overwhelming! There are so many differing opinions on brands and types and gadgets. I’ve taken a sampling of advice from various sources and hope I registered for everything I’ll need. We shall see. :)

Sleep:

I wake up any time between 12:30-4:30 to go to the bathroom and then toss and turn for hours. Recently I’ve said screw it and get out of bed to start laundry or read or eat cereal or unload the dishwasher. Leia is always confused by those late-night wanderings and doesn’t understand why I’m not feeding her breakfast at 2 in the morning. I’ll eventually fall back asleep then wake up with my 6am alarm groggy and wondering who this fairy godmother is who cleaned my house. Thankfully it doesn’t affect me too much throughout the day, I just fall asleep on the couch almost every evening around 8 pm.

Dreams:

I have a lot of dreams about things I shouldn’t be doing, like binge drinking and skiing and falling down and going a whole day without feeding the baby. I wake up in a panic thinking I’m the most selfish person in the world.

Maternity clothes:

Thank goodness for elastic pants and friends who loan you maternity clothes!

Movement:

I love to feel her move and kick, which is often. She’s an active little one! I was telling J the other day that I feel like I have a super power. There is a tiny human inside me with its own unique DNA and personality and my body is helping its grow. When you really stop and think about it, isn’t it the most amazing, crazy thing in the whole world?!

Food and Cravings:

Honestly, I haven’t eaten much differently than when I wasn’t pregnant. I don’t have any aversions and the only thing I really crave is sugar. And cereal! Yum.

Weight: 

If you want to make a pregnant girl cry, talk about her weight. Which is what they do at every doctor’s appointment and I find myself all weepy when I am in my car afterwards. It makes me want to go order a milkshake.

I used to have little sympathy for pregnant women who complained about their weight. It’s like, duh, of course you’re going to gain weight! This is part of the process! Being this side of it, though, I get it. I have never felt so insecure about my body in my whole life. I feel so completely… out of control. I am trying to eat well and workout, but sometimes it’s really hard.

I have to constantly surrender my thoughts, do my best and recognize that at the end of the day my body is creating life and deserves a little grace. 

Emotions:

Aside from the aforementioned weeping in my car after a doctor’s appointment, I haven’t had any crazy mood swings.

Birth plan: 

Quick and painless, right? :) Seriously, though, I have an idea of what I want, but I’m holding those plans very loosely and trusting that God knows the story of my baby girl’s birthday already and it’s going to go just as He plans.

I like to think of labor and delivery kind of like a wedding. You have a wedding to get married. If the wedding doesn’t go like you planned…(it rains, your sister gets sick, you tear your veil, the music doesn’t play on time)… but you’re married by the end of it? Then the wedding was a success. Same with giving birth. If the birth doesn’t go like you planned…(your water breaks at work, you labor for hours, you get stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital, your doctor isn’t on call, you get an epideral, you have a c-section)… but get a baby at the end of it? Then the delivery was a success. 

Naming the baby: 

I love her name so much! Sometimes I’ll repeat it over and over when I’m alone in the car. We decided to keep her name a surprise until after she’s born, but I’ll definitely share more details why we chose it after she’s born. :)

Maternity leave and working:

The plan is to take a 12-week maternity leave and go back to work afterwards. J recently quit his job and is enrolled in an intense 12-week computer programming course that actually ends the week of my due date. (Ha! Not the greatest timing, but we’ll make it work.) So we are living off my income for now and I have every intention of going back full time after my maternity leave. Hopefully J can find a job soon after she’s born, in which we will enroll her in daycare, but otherwise he will watch her while he looks for a job. J is blogging all about his experience with this program, if you want to follow along. These next few months are going to be an adventure for sure!

On Motherhood: 

The closer we get to my due date, the more excited I am. I feel so honored and privileged to be this little girl’s mom and each day that goes by I get more excited about meeting her and finding out what her personality will be like. Just a few months away! :)